DBZ: The Musical
by Feleda
Summary: Rated PG for language only so far. Basically, this thing has no plat whatsoever. it's just me mixing up a bunch of songs for strange and silly purposes. Send me your ideas! This was inspired by the writer Q. *UPDATE! CHECK OUT ACT 9!*
1. Vegeta's Song

ACT 1: VEGETA'S SONG  
  
DISCLAIMER: I do not own DBZ or the musical FAME! I am in no way making profit off of this.  
  
Fortuna: Hello everyone! Well, here's basically how this is going to work: I'm gonna have the characters in situations that they found themselves in in the original anime. Everything is *exactly* the same, except with one small twist: they can sing and dance. Personally, I think this is going to be a lot of fun to write. I love musicals. And I have the lyrics for quite a bit of stuff actually. Well, here's the first number!  
  
WARNING: The characters are of course OOC. They can sing and dance.  
  
It was yet another boring day on Freeza's ship. Vegeta was in the cafeteria with Nappa and some of Freeza's other soldiers.  
  
"Bah! This is so boring! We're never gonna get anything done," Vegeta snapped irritably.  
  
"Yes, Prince," Nappa agreed.  
  
Suddenly, Freeza and Zarbon walked across their view. The two looked like they were discussing a matter of importance.  
  
"Oooh! Looks like Zarbon's gone and taken your place as Freeza's right hand man," Nappa said.  
  
"No need to go into a newsflash, Nappa. I can see them with my own eyes," Vegeta snapped. "Take this note down for Freeza, Nappa. Tell him he's out of my life. Tell him he'll be sorry. From now on I got two things to worry about- me and *me!* King Vegeta!"  
  
"Vegeta who?"  
  
"Let's face it- Prince Vegeta ain't gonna click when we tell people who I am!" Vegeta said, getting pumped up.  
  
"It ain't gonna click, it ain't gonna click!" Nappa agreed, snapping his fingers on the word "click."  
  
Vegeta stood up. "One day I'll be sparklin' on this ship!" He stood on his chair.  
  
"Sparkle, Vegeta- sparkle!"  
  
"People are gonna shiver in fear when they see me coming!" Vegeta cried, putting sunglasses on. He had now successfully gotten everyone's attention.  
  
"Shiver!" Nappa cried.  
  
"They'll say, 'There he goes! King Vegeta! THE King Vegeta! Not the opera, not the movie… but the SAIY-JIN WARRIOR!'" he roared, then shrieked, mimicking some startled victim.  
  
"There he goes!  
  
"Ain't he the picture of a real life king?  
  
"And you want to follow him whoever you are  
  
"And there he goes!" Vegeta sang, pointing a finger out. He then jumped on top of a table. Everyone in the room now crowded around the circular table where he was standing on top of. "Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, thank you! You've all been so wonderful to me. I don't know how to thank you enough. And thank you, too, God… for making me so fuckin' fantastic!" he cried throwing his sunglasses in the air.  
  
"I'm on top of the stars!  
  
"I'm on top in their hearts!"  
  
"Look at them all!  
  
"Look at the crowds!  
  
"Everything is beautiful up here in the crowds!" Vegeta sang, while kicking things off the table.  
  
Suddenly the chorus (Nappa and company) fell down on their knees, and leaned backwards. "Fame!" they yelled.  
  
"I'm gonna live forever,  
  
"I'm gonna learn how to fly," Vegeta sang.  
  
"High!" the chorus cried, throwing their hands in the air.  
  
"I feel it comin' together,  
  
"People will see me and cry," he continued while dancing.  
  
"Fame!" the chorus was now dancing around the table.  
  
"I'm gonna make it to heaven," Vegeta sang. Nappa rolled his eyes at this.  
  
"Light up the Universe like a flame," he ignored Nappa.  
  
"Fame!" the chorus said again, now dancing freely.  
  
"I'm gonna live forever," Vegeta sang, then jumped off the table.  
  
"Baby, remember my name."  
  
"Remember, remember, remember," the chorus chanted, before Vegeta went into a wild and frenzied dance. They formed a circle around him, and called encouragement as he fought artistically with no one in particular.  
  
"What the hell is going on in here??!!" Freeza roared, banging open a door. Before him was a very interesting sight. Vegeta was surrounded by Nappa, and other members of Freeza's crew and was paused in mid-dance. Food was scattered around a circle table, a few chairs were tipped over, and there were sunglasses on the floor.  
  
Vegeta and everyone else struggled to gain their composure. "Well, Lord Freeza, er…"  
  
"You see…"  
  
"We were…"  
  
"Uh, what he's trying to say is…"  
  
"Shut up, all of you! Do you think I care? Clean up this mess, and then get back to work," he ordered, turned, then left. Everyone looked at Vegeta.  
  
"Well, you all heard him! Clean this mess up! I can't bother myself with you people. I have things to do." And with that, he left.  
  
"There he goes…"  
  
  
  
Voila! Well, what do you think? A lot of the songs in FAME! can easily be played with to make them work for DBZ, since the musical is all about being the best of the best. Don't worry- those aren't the only songs I'm doing! Please review!!!!!!!!!! Thank you! 


	2. Gokuu's Number

ACT 2: GOKUU'S NUMBER  
  
DISCLAIMER: I do not own DBZ or "The Wizard of Oz." I am in no way making profit off of this.  
  
Fortuna: And here's the next number! These aren't going to go in chronological order at all.  
  
  
  
Gokuu had just died. He was now in front of Lord Enma's desk with Kami- sama. The Earth god was busy explaining how he wanted Gokuu to see training from King Kai. You guys know the rest. Before he knew it, Gokuu was in back of a car, driving to the road that would take him to King Kai's. When he and the escort arrived, Gokuu asked: "How exactly do I get there? I see this great road, so…"  
  
"Well, sir, it's very simple actually," the escort explained. A group of small people had now crowded around them.  
  
"Oh? So what exactly is it that I do?" Gokuu asked.  
  
"Follow the Snake Way road,  
  
"Follow the Snake Way road,  
  
"Follow, follow, follow, follow the Snake Way Road," they all sang. Music seemed to come out of nowhere that was light and happy. Suddenly, two arms grabbed either side of Gokuu's body, wrapping around his arms. They pulled him out onto Snake Way and started doing a simple little hop-skip dance with him. Gokuu actually caught on pretty fast.  
  
"You're off to see the Kai,  
  
"The wonderful Kai of the North sector of the galaxy,  
  
"You'll find he is a funny guy,  
  
"If ever a funny guy there was.  
  
"If ever o-ever a good trainer there was  
  
"The Kai of the North sector of the Galaxy is one because  
  
"Because, because, because, because, because…  
  
"Because of the wonderful things he does.  
  
"You're of to see the Kai, the Kai of the North sector of the Galaxy!" they sang, then let go of Gokuu.  
  
He merrily danced down Snake Way, singing the lovely little ditty. He never really stopped to question if this was odd, it all seemed rather natural.  
  
Fortuna: Hehe… this was one of the most painful songs to write. I had to listen to the track about eight times before making sure it all worked. You can all sing this song now whenever you watch "The Wizard of Oz" or any DBZ episode where Gokuu's on Snake Way.  
  
If you guys have any ideas, just say so in your review. More will be up soon- promise! 


	3. Author's Note

Hello! Just thought I'd throw a semi-a/n here. These are the songs I plan on playing around with, and the characters that will be singing them. Just thought I'd throw this out here, so if you give me suggestions, it doesn't totally repeat itself.  
  
Anything You Can Do/ Gokuu and Vegeta: does this need to be explained?  
  
Time Warp/ Mirai Trunks: Trunks tells us all about traveling through time  
  
Bring on Tomorrow/ Krillin, Gohan, Bulma: they're ready to fave anything that Namek throws at them  
  
I Feel Pretty/ Freeza, Zarbon, Dodorio: does this even need an explanation?  
  
Artists (Fighters) Are Special/ Gokuu and Chi-Chi: Gokuu tries to get Chi- Chi to understand that Gohan was meant to fight  
  
Out There/ Dende: basically, he's tired of looking down on Earth, and wants to be part of it all 


	4. Trunks' Ballad

ACT 3: TRUNKS' BALLAD  
  
DISCLAIMER: I do not own DBZ or "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." I am in no way making any profit on this. I swear.  
  
Fortuna: I've always thought of Trunks singing this song, ever since I learned he traveled through time. I dedicate it to Trunks and "Rocky Horror" lovers everywhere.  
  
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There were only a few more days until the Cell games. Trunks, Yamcha, Bulma, Gohan, Gokuu, Bulma, Vegeta, Tien, Chotzu, Krillin, and Chi-Chi were all sitting around watching the army's latest attempts to kill Cell off. After the first few of these incidents, Gokuu had just decided to say the hell with it. If they lost, it wouldn't matter those people would be dead anyway. If he won, they would always be brought back to life.  
  
Trunks turned off the TV in disgust. "This is such a load of crap," he said.  
  
"Trunks, you should watch your language around Gohan," Bulma said, more for the well-being of her son than for Gohan's. She was worried that Chi-Chi would try and kill Mirai Trunks.  
  
"Oh, don't worry Bulma. I swear all the time," Gohan said with a smile.  
  
"Trunks, what was it like?" Tien asked.  
  
"What was what like?"  
  
"Time traveling."  
  
"Oh. That," Trunks said, then thought.  
  
"It's astounding," he finally said.  
  
"Time is fleeting,  
  
"Madness takes its toll.  
  
"But listen closely..." Trunks told them as they gathered in closer.  
  
"Not for very much longer, I hope," Vegeta snarled from his corner.  
  
Suddenly, and without warning, Trunks jumped up, and stood on the coffee table (I think he gets the jumping on tables thing from his dad.)  
  
"I remember doing the time-warp  
  
"Drinking those moments when  
  
"The Blackness would hit me  
  
"And the void would be calling..."  
  
"Let's do the time-warp again.  
  
"Let's do the time-warp again," Bulma, Yamcha, Gohan, Gokuu, Bulma, Vegeta, Tien, Chotzu, Krillin, and Chi-Chi sang.  
  
"But, Trunks, how do you *do* the Time Warp?" Gohan innocently asked.  
  
All the adults laughed at him. "You don't know? It's very simple:  
  
"It's just a jump to the left," Gokuu said, as everyone jumped to the left.  
  
"And a step to the right," Chi-Chi sang. Again, everyone took a step to the right.  
  
"With your hands on your hips," Tien told young and foolish Gohan.  
  
"You bring your knees in tight,  
  
"But it's the pelvic thrust  
  
"That really drives you insa-ay-ay-ay-ane!" Trunks belted out from a- top the coffee table, while dancing.  
  
"Let's do the time-warp again!  
  
"Let's do the time-warp again!" everyone sang.  
  
"It's so dreamy, oh fantasy free me!" Trunks cried, spreading his arms in the air.  
  
"So you can't see me, no, not at all.  
  
"In another dimension, with  
  
"voyeuristic intention,  
  
"Well secluded, I see all," he finished.  
  
"With a bit of a mind flip," Bulma sang.  
  
"You're into the time slip,  
  
"And nothing can ever be the same," Krillin sang.  
  
"You're spaced out on sensation," Trunks continued singing.  
  
"Like you're under sedation," Yamcha wailed.  
  
"Let's do the time-warp again!  
  
"Let's do the time-warp again!" they all sang, dancing around the living room.  
  
Meanwhile, in Trunks' timeline, Bulma and Chi-Chi were drinking tea. "Bulma, how exactly did you discover how to make a time machine?" Chi-Chi asked.  
  
Bulma thought about this for a moment, then finally answered:  
  
"Well I was walking down the street  
  
"just a-having a think  
  
"When a really great idea hit me like a well of ink.  
  
"It shook-a me up, it took me by surprise.  
  
"It had a yellow paint-job and a  
  
"pair-o-lights.  
  
"It stared at me and I felt a change.  
  
"Time meant nothing, never would again," Mirai Bulma sang.  
  
Meanwhile, back in the "present" timeline…  
  
"Let's do the time-warp again!  
  
"Let's do the time-warp again!" everyone was singing, including Vegeta.  
  
"It's just a jump to the left," Gokuu told them.  
  
"And then a step to the right!" they all replied.  
  
"With your hands on your hips!" young Gohan was catching on. Finally, everyone sang the closing verse:  
  
"You bring your knees in tight.  
  
"But it's the pelvic thrust  
  
"That really drives you insane.  
  
"Let's do the time-warp again!  
  
"Let's do the time-warp again!" they finished.  
  
"And that's what my adventures in time were like," Trunks told them, jumping down off the coffee table finally. He fixed his hair and jacket.  
  
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Whew! It's at times like these that I really wish Trunks had some time- traveling companions, so they could sing along toos. Oh well, hope you all enjoyed. Please review. Gracias.  
  
Coming Attraction: Freeza's Song- I Feel Pretty  
  
Co-starring: Zarbon and Dodoria 


	5. Freeza's Melody

ACT 4: FREEZA'S MELODY  
  
DISCLAIMER: I in no way whatsoever own DBZ or "West Side Story." Please, don't sue me.  
  
Fortuna: Sorry it took so long! This picks up right after Vegeta's Song. Just to pull you back to that.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Freeza stormed out of the cafeteria. "Stupid monkey!" he growled, tail thrashing behind him. He walked back into his quarters where Zarbon and Dodoria were waiting to start the meeting. Zarbon was busy looking over notes, and Dodoria was picking his nose.  
  
"Ready to start, Lord Freeza?" Zarbon asked, looking up, and whapping Dodoria over the head all in one motion.  
  
Freeza let out a long sigh as he fell into a chair. "No, I don't really want to right now. I just saw that spiky-haired monkey moron singing and dancing with the crew."  
  
"Oh my. I'm terribly sorry Lord," Zarbon said sympathetically.  
  
"Thanks Zarbon. You know how you make me feel when you're reasuuring?"  
  
"How Lord?" (A/N: can you see where this is going?)  
  
"I… I… I feel pretty!  
  
"Oh so pretty and witty and bright!"  
  
"Pretty, sir?" Zarbon skeptically asked.  
  
"Yes, amazingly enough I pity, any war-lord who isn't me tonight!" he sang.  
  
"I feel charming, o so charming!  
  
"It's alarming how charming I fe-e-el!  
  
"I'm so pretty that I hardly can believe I'm real!  
  
"Look at the pretty warrior in that mirror there,  
  
"Who can that attractive guy be?" Freeza sang, as Dodoria and Zarbon looked around for a mirror.  
  
"Such a handsome face,  
  
"Such a cool form,  
  
"Such a good-looking me!" he cried, spreading his arms out wide.  
  
"I feel stunning and entranincing  
  
"Feel like running and dancing for joy," he hop-skipped around the room.  
  
"For I'm the most powerful guy in the universe!!!!" he belted out.  
  
"Have you met our good leader Freeza?  
  
"The craziest war-lord in the Galaxy?" Zarbon and Dodoria asked of each other.  
  
"You'll know 'im the minute you see'im," they sang, pointing at Freeza, who was now dancing about the room.  
  
"He's the one who is in an advanced state of shock.  
  
"He thinks he's in love with himself, he thinks he's in Spain  
  
"He isn't in love, he's merely insane," they softly sang, so he couldn't hear them.  
  
"It must be the heat," Zarbon told Dodoria.  
  
"Or some rare disease," Dodoria suggested.  
  
"Or too much to eat," Zarbon pointed out.  
  
"Or maybe it's fleas!" Dodoria triumphantly cried; Zarbon whacked him over the head again.  
  
"Keep away from him, 'cept for uh… moving on…  
  
"This is not the guy, we knowino  
  
"Powerful and cold, evil and refined, well-bred and mature,  
  
"And out of his mind!" they cried, as Freeza suddenly jumped in front of them wearing huge, tacky sunglasses tha they picked up from some planet.  
  
"Mr. Ruler of the Galaxy, Mr. Ruler of the Galaxy! Speech! Speech!" the two lackies cried, applauding as their leader stood atop a table.  
  
"I feel pretty! Oh so pretty!  
  
"That this damn ship should give me it's key…!  
  
"A comitee should be organized to honor me!" he cried.  
  
"I feel dizzy!" he started to bend down, then burst back up, spreading his arms wide: "I feel sunny! I feel fizzy and funny and fine!  
  
"I'm so pretty, Miss America should just resign!" he tossed the sunglasses away.  
  
"See the good looking guy in that mirror there?" Freeza asked.  
  
"What mirror where?" Zarbon and Dodoria chorused.  
  
"Who can that attractive guy be?"  
  
"Which?" Zarbon sang.  
  
"What?" Dodoria asked.  
  
"Where?" they chorused  
  
"Whom? … whom?"  
  
"Such a handsome face!" they all sang. Zarbon and Freeza stopped, and looked over at Dodoria.  
  
"What makes you think you're so good-looking?" Zarbon asked. "You know that *I'm* the ladies' man on this ship!" he said with pride.  
  
"I only keep you in my presence because you're strong, not because of your looks!" Freeza told the pink blob, spiky thing.  
  
Dodoria pouted. "But… but…"  
  
"Come on, Zarbon. We can plan *without* Dodoria," Freeza told the only good-looking guy in the room; they went into an adjoining room, leaving Dodoria to his own demises.  
  
"Well, I feel stunning, and entrancing!" Dodoria sang, brightening up.  
  
"Feel like running and dancing for joooooo-!" His singing was stopped short (thank God) by a blast from Zarbon. "Ow…" he whimpered.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Whew! Talk about your ego! Hope you guys liked it! Hmm… I don't think Zarbon liked Dodoria very much. And now, for some author/story advertising:  
  
KiwiDragon: this is a good pal of mine in real life. If you like HP, you'll love her short humor! If you're a Heero/Duo fan, you'll like her yaoi story. And if you like poetry, you'll really like her poem!  
  
SSJSkaterTrunks: this girl has talent! Go read her stuff now! She's also the first person who's read "Unforgettable" so far that's reviewed- but that's not the reason I'm advertising her. She's just plain talented.  
  
Q: If you like songfics, then go read hers! They kick so much ass, it's great. She's also writing about an original DBZ character right now, and it looks like it's gonna be really cool.  
  
Burenda: You will all go over and read her fic now! It's all about Bardock, and Goten, and Trunks, and I don't wanna say anything cuz I'll give it away!  
  
If you want me to go read something of yours, and "advertise" it, I'd be more than happy to! Just tell me in your review! Also, I've been thinking of doing a DBZ Backpacking fic. What do you think? Good idea? Bad idea? Am I trying to do too much at one? (I literally have like 10 stories going, so this'll just add to my list. Hehe…) 


	6. Bulma, Gohan, and Krillin's Chorus

ACT 5: BULMA, KRILLIN, AND GOHAN'S CHORUS  
  
DISCLAIMER: Do you really think I own DBZ or FAME!? Honestly, ask yourself. Maybe if you meditate enough like Piccolo, you too will find the answer.  
  
Feleda: Woho! Someone reviewed ACT 4! Thank you! Well, here's more. Hope you enjoy!  
  
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*Finally,* Bulma thought to herself, as she looked at the ancient spaceship's monitor. Tomorrow, she Gohan, and Krillin would arrive on Namek and get the dragonballs while avoiding Vegeta. She wasn't sure how easy or hard this was going to be, but she was willing to try! Besides, the plan was to get the dragonballs and wish Piccolo and company back to life.  
  
She walked over to the room where Krillin and Gohan were sitting playing poker. This was something very new and exciting to Gohan, since his mom had sheltered him all his life, and when he wasn't with her, he was with Piccolo for a year in the middle of nowhere.  
  
"Hey boys, guess what? Tomorrow we'll reach Namek," she told them, sitting down next to Gohan.  
  
"Really? That means we'll be able to wish back Mr. Piccolo soon!" Gohan said excitedly.  
  
"Hmph. That means that we'll probably be running into Vegeta sooner," Krillin snapped.  
  
"Who cares? He doesn't have a dragon radar! I say bring on tomorrow!" Bulma cried, then sang:  
  
"Bring on tomorrow,  
  
"Let it…" she searched for a word.  
  
"Shine?" Krillin supplied.  
  
"Shine!" Bulma agreed, singing the note.  
  
"Like the sun coming up on a beautiful day…"  
  
"It's your and mine!" Gohan jumped in.  
  
"Yeah! That fits great, Gohan," Bulma complimented.  
  
"We can make a difference,  
  
"It's not too late,  
  
"Bring on tomorrow,  
  
"We can't wait!" she finished.  
  
"Yeah! We can totally do this; we have the advantage," Krillin said enthusiastically. Then, by some unseen/heard signal, they all sang the uplifting song together:  
  
"Bring on tomorrow,  
  
"Let it shine," they held hands.  
  
"Like the sun coming up on a beautiful day,  
  
"It's yours and mine!" they sang, smiling and pointing at each other.  
  
"We can make a difference, it's not too late!  
  
"Bring on tomorrow,  
  
"We can't wait!" they finished.  
  
Meanwhile, in the after-life at King Kai's…  
  
Piccolo had his hand on King Kai's back, and was about to "talk" to Gohan, but on hearing him, Bulma, and Krillin singing had stopped. It was a rather uplifting melody, he gave it that, but none of them had terribly wonderful voices; it pained his sharp Namekian ears.  
  
'Gohan," he finally "said." (A/N: single quotation marks ' ' mean telepathy.)  
  
Back in the ship, Gohan blanched. What if Mr. Piccolo had heard him and his friends singing?  
  
'What the Hell were you three just doing?' Piccolo asked. 'You do realize that none of you have a decent voice, right?' he had now extended his thought to include Bulma and Krillin, who were both face-faultering.  
  
"Well, yeah," Gohan replied. "But that's not the point, Piccolo. The song was meant to give us confidence."  
  
'Whatever, kid,' Piccolo said. 'But don't let me *ever* hear any of you singing again! I'll send you all to the next dimension faster than you can say "Bring on Tomorrow," got it?' he snapped, directing this at them all.  
  
"R-right," Bulma and Krillin stammered.  
  
'Good. Now, when do you get to Namek?' he asked.  
  
Gohan, eager to drop the subject, replied: "Tomorrow."  
  
'Good; that means we can get wished back. Later.' And with that, Piccolo let off his telepathic connection with the not-that-great-at- singing-trio.  
  
"So, what did they say, Piccolo?" Yamcha asked, as Piccolo turned around.  
  
"They'll be at Namek tomorrow."  
  
"That's all? You guys talked for quite a bit," Tien pointed out.  
  
"Well, they were also singing this strange little song, and I told them that if I ever caught them singing together again, they'd be in the next dimension faster than they could say "bring on tomorrow," he replied.  
  
Yamcha, Tien, Chaot-zu, and King Kai looked at each other. "'Bring on tomorrow?'" they all chorused.  
  
"Yes, it was what the song was about."  
  
"I think that's from 'Fame!' Bulma and I were in it back in high- school," Yamcha told them. "I starred in that," he said, flashing a smile.  
  
"Who were you?" Tien asked.  
  
"Joe." Then, Yamcha started singing, much to the dismay of others.  
  
"You know what it's like  
  
"When you wake up in the mornin' and it's hard,  
  
"Standing up straight at attention  
  
"Like the changin' of the gaur-" he was cut short by a blast from Piccolo.  
  
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I know it had kinda a not that exciting ending, but you all know what Yamcha was talking about right? All the lyrics in this one are the same, since they worked perfectly fine in the situation. I was originally gonna have "Bring on Tomorrow" the night before the Cell Games, but it seemed more humorous to have it in this setting, don't you agree? 


	7. The Parents Argument

ACT 6: THE PARENTS ARGUMENT  
  
DICLAIMER: I in no way whatsoever own DBZ or FAME!.  
  
Feleda: Hello again! Well, here's ACT 6 of the show. I was sitting around my room thinking of songs I could use, when I came upon this one. In the original musical, this is where the homeroom teacher and the dance teacher argue about academic studies vs. dancing for the student Tyrone. Well, in this rendition, Chi-Chi plays the part of Ms. Sherman (the homeroom teacher) and Gokuu is Ms. Bell (the dance teacher.) Once again, they're arguing about Gohan's studies.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
"Gokuu! For the last time, don't *ever* take Gohan out to train with out telling me!" Chi-Chi shrieked.  
  
Gokuu winced, and then replied: "But Chi-Chi! The androids are coming soon, and we all need to be prepared! Maybe you should come train with us too…" he kindly suggested.  
  
"Don't you try to persuade me, buster!" she shot back. "What this world needs are more scholars, not more powerful hooligans!"  
  
Gokuu gasped. True, Chi-Chi had never exactly approved of Gokuu and Gohan going out and fighting all the time, but she had never insulted them. "But, Chi-Chi, don't you know:  
  
"Fighters are special, celestial fools,  
  
"Blessed with a talent for breaking the rules,  
  
"Unfit for confinement in cubical schools," Gokuu spread his arms out wide, then sang the next song softly:  
  
"Fighters are special."  
  
Although this caught Chi-Chi a bit of guard, she quickly retaliated by telling Gokuu:  
  
"Fighters are people, not primitive fools,  
  
"They learn what to do before breaking the rules,  
  
"They know that the brain is the finest of tools," she put a hand on her head. She then leaned in closer, and held her husband's hand.  
  
"Fighters are people."  
  
Gokuu was still a bit mad, and walked away outside. The two then chorused together:  
  
"Whether in sparring or battling or a deadly dance  
  
"They have to be given the chance…."  
  
"To help save the world!" Gokuu sang.  
  
"To develop their minds!" Chi-Chi retorted.  
  
"And be nurtured like plants," they sang.  
  
"Artists are part of the same basic race,  
  
"As everyone else in this same bloody place," Chi-Chi spread her arms out, letting it sink into Gokuu.  
  
"You learn to survive or you fall on your face." She snapped her fingers, and pointed at the ground.  
  
"Fighter or not! Fighter or not!" she yelled, then said. "Gokuu, you know Gohan will never make a living in the fighting arts. We have to prepare him for a *normal* life. What's he gonna do after you beat the Androids?"  
  
"What makes you say that we're gonna beat them?"  
  
"That's not the point; it's getting harder and harder to get into college these days, what's Gohan gonna do if he doesn't make it?"  
  
"He *will* make it!" Gokuu cried.  
  
"This one is different, I tell you,  
  
"This one can fight,  
  
"This one is special, I tell you,  
  
"He has to be given the chance!" Gokuu pleaded.  
  
"He will make it in this world Chi-Chi, he *will*!"  
  
"Fine!" she cried. "I give up! I wish you all the best of luck. But, when the Androids are gone, and Earth is in relatively good peace, he's gonna go to school and learn!"  
  
"Whatever you say," Gokuu said, rolling his eyes and going back inside.  
  
And so, that's how Chi-Chi let Gohan train those three years with little studying.  
  
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*Fortuna is looking over it* Hmm… not exactly what I had in mind, but not half-bad either. Oh well. Review please! 


	8. Vegeta and Gokuu's Duet

ACT 7: VEGETA AND GOKUU'S DUET  
  
DISCLAIMER: I do not own DBZ or "Annie Get Your Gun."  
  
Feleda: Well, here it is, the greatest cliché of them all: Gokuu and Vegeta singing "Anything You Can Do (I Can Do Better.)" Hope I did it up to all of your expectations!  
  
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"Damn it, Kakarot!" Vegeta roared. "Why is it that I can never beat you?!" The two Saiy-jins were busy playing *insert your favorite video game here*.  
  
Gokuu shrugged innocently. "I dunno, Vegeta."  
  
"Bah! Not only are you better at this than me, you seem to be better than me at *everything*!" Vegeta snapped.  
  
Gokuu shrugged innocently, and gave the famous Son grin. "What can I say?  
  
"Anything you can do I can do better  
  
"I can do anything better than you," Gokuu told him.  
  
"No you can't!" Vegeta snapped.  
  
"Yes, I can," Gokuu sung back.  
  
"No you can't," Vegeta reasoned with him.  
  
"Yes I can!"  
  
"No Kakarot! You can't damn it!" Vegeta roared.  
  
"Yes I can, yes I can!" Gokuu smugly sang.  
  
"Anything you can be, I can be greater  
  
"Sooner or later, I'm greater than you!" Vegeta snapped.  
  
"No, you're not Vegeta," Gokuu said, rolling his eyes.  
  
"Yes I am."  
  
"No, you're not"  
  
"Yes I am!"  
  
"No! You're not!"  
  
"Yes I am, yes I am!" Vegeta belted out, jumping onto a table (old habits live on, I guess…)  
  
"No, you're not!"  
  
"Perhaps you'd like to explain that little incident with Android 19, then, ey?" Vegeta smirked.  
  
"You know damn well I was suffering from a heart disease!"  
  
"Excuses, excuses," Vegeta sighed.  
  
"I can shoot a ki beam,  
  
"Faster than silly string," Gokuu told him.  
  
"I can get a wife, who doesn't yell at me  
  
"Everday of my life," Vegeta smugly sang back.  
  
"I can live on bread and cheese!" Gokuu snag proudly.  
  
"And only on that?" Vegeta asked with a raised eyebrow.  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"Kakarot?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"I know that you can't do that."  
  
"Aw…!" Gokuu looked disheartened.  
  
"Face it Kakarot, I'm better than you. Any note you can sing I can sing higher," Vegeta told him from atop the table, spreading his arms out.  
  
"I can sing anything higher than you!" Gokuu still had faith in himself.  
  
"No you can't." Vegeta sang a little higher.  
  
"Yes I can." Gokuu took it up a notch as well. (No, I do not watch Emeril.)  
  
"No you can't!" Vegeta ascended the singing scale higher still.  
  
"*Yes I can!*" Gokuu belted out, in a very high pitched voice. A glass shattered, and Vegeta had to cover his ears.  
  
"How do you sing so high?" Vegeta asked. Gokuu shrugged.  
  
"Well, anything you can say, I can say softer."  
  
"I can say anything softer that you!" Gokuu snapped back without a seconds thought.  
  
"No you can't," Vegeta sang softer, sitting down on the table.  
  
"Yes I can," Gokuu sang softly.  
  
"No you can't," Vegeta sang even softer.  
  
"Yes I can," Gokuu tried to go softer.  
  
"No you can't." You could barely hear Vegeta's voice.  
  
"Yes I can…" Gokuu tried to sing softer, then said screw it: "Yes I can!" he yelled.  
  
"I can drink my liquor  
  
"Faster than a flicker," Vegeta smugly sang, letting his feet dangle over the table's edge.  
  
"I can drink it quicker, and get even sicker!" Gokuu protested.  
  
"I wouldn't be surprised," Vegeta mumbled.  
  
"Any note you can hold, I can hold longer," Vegeta told Gokuu.  
  
"I can hold any note longer than you," Gokuu replied.  
  
"No you can't."  
  
"Yes I can."  
  
"No you caan't."  
  
"Yes I caaan't."  
  
"No you caaaan't."  
  
"Yes I caaaaan't."  
  
"No you caaaaaan't!" Vegeta belted out, once for standing atop the table.  
  
Barely taking time to breathe, Gokuu shot back: "Yes IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII- can!" he wheezed out the last word.  
  
"For Dende's sake, where do you hold all that air?" Vegeta asked. Gokuu pointed to his head. "Figures…"  
  
"Any attack you can say, I can say faster," Gokuu told Vegeta.  
  
"I can say any technigue faster than you," Vegeta sang back.  
  
"Kaio-ken!" Gokuu snappily sang.  
  
"Big Bang Attack!" Vegeta roared back.  
  
"Instant Transmission!" Gokuu snapped back quickly.  
  
"Super Saiy-jin!" Vegeta gleefully sang.  
  
"Kame! Ha! Me! Haaaaa!" Gokuu finished. (A/N: "Kamehameha" right there is meant to be said one syllable at a time.  
  
"I can do most anything!" Vegeta countered.  
  
"Can you bake a pie?" Gokuu eagerly asked.  
  
"Well, no," Vegeta admitted.  
  
"Neither can I." Gokuu shrugged.  
  
"Any note you can sing, I can sweeter," Vegeta said.  
  
"I can sing any note sweeter than you," Gokuu dragged out the "you."  
  
"No you caa-nnn't" Vegeta sang sweetly  
  
"Yesss I ca-a-a-a-an," Gokuu replied, voice dripping.  
  
"No you can't!" Vegeta replied.  
  
"Yes I can!" Gokuu was hitting the high notes again, causing Vegeta to wince.  
  
"No you caaan't!" This time Vegeta dragged out the word "can't," while trying to sing sweetly.  
  
"Yesssss I cannn," Gokuu replied, inspecting his nails, and leaning against the table.  
  
"No you can't" Vegeta reassured him; standing on the table, he was a little taller than Gokuu.  
  
"Oh, yes I can."  
  
"No you can't, can't, can't can't!" Vegeta stopped singly sweetly; he and Gokuu were leaning in, glaring at each other.  
  
"Yes I can, can, can!" Gokuu growled back.  
  
Then together, they finished:  
  
"Yes I can!" "No you can't!"  
  
"So, Vegeta, how 'bout we go one more round at this game and we'll see who's better?" Gokuu asked.  
  
"You're on Kakarot!"  
  
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Well, tada! What do you think? I thought it came out pretty damn good. Please review! 


	9. The Chibis Chorus Line

ACT 8: THE CHIBIS' CHORUS LINE  
  
DISCLAIMER:  
  
Feleda: I got my good pal General Blue to help me with this one. Ready, General?  
  
General Blue: Ready when you are.  
  
Feleda: Okay. 1…2…3…  
  
Feleda and General Blue: I/Feleda doesn't own DBZ! *give each other a high- five*  
  
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Bulma was at a nice French restaurant with Vegeta. Well, she was alone right now, since Vegeta had to take a dump. Suddenly, the lights onstage flipped off, then there was only one beam. From behind the curtain out walked… Chibi Trunks? What? How could this be happening? she thought. Trunks was now a teenager. Bulma decided to ignore this, and listen; it was probably just a coincidence.  
  
Trunks cleared his throat. "Ahem. Tonight, my friends and I would like to sing you all a very special song." he cleared his throat again, while the piano struck up a single melodic note.  
  
"This is the song that never ends! It goes on and on my friends!  
  
"Some people started singin' it,  
  
"Not knowin' what it was,  
  
"But then they kept on singing it forever just because…" Trunks trailed off.  
  
Little Marron and Goten walked on stage to join their fiend. "This is the song that never ends!" the trio sang. Bulma just noticed that they were all wearing little tuxedos; with a cane and top hat.  
  
"It goes on and on my friends." The piano was now cheerfully playing.  
  
"Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was…" To the sides of the stage, Bulma noticed that Pan and Bra were about to enter.  
  
The two new members of the chorus joined in, while the other three continued on, unstoppable. "But then they kept on singing it forever just because,  
  
"This is the song that never ends!  
  
"It goes on and on my friends,  
  
"Some people started singing it now knowing what it was,  
  
"But then they kept on singing it forever, just because…" they all trailed off. Then, in a choreographed motion, they all beckoned up at a small balcony that the light was now focused on.  
  
Dear Dende, is that who I think it is…?  
  
"This is the song that never ends," little Gohan slowly sang.  
  
"Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was,  
  
"But then they kept on singing it forever just because…" he jumped down to the stage gracefully.  
  
Jazzy music started up, while the lights went crazy, the chorus was singing: "Because, because, because…" and followed two more small cat- wheeling figures from either side. When they stopped, Bulma almost had a heart-attack.  
  
"This is the song that never ends!" Chibi Gokuu and Krillin sang while the rest of the group was doing an elaborate dance that involved their hats and canes in the background.  
  
"It goes on and on my friends,  
  
"Some people started singing it,  
  
"Not knowing what it was,  
  
"But then they kept on singing it forever just because…" they stopped, the lights showed up more of the stage, and the curtain drew back to reveal none other than… all seven of the Cell Juniors! They were in a can-can line, and were dancing while moving forward. Trunks, Goten, Marron, Bra, Pan, Gohan, Krillin, and Gokuu, all expertly joined in, so that it was alternating (Cell Junior, Chibi, Cell Junior, Chibi…) They were all now doing the can-can, and were singing the final chorus. Bulma was racking her brains for an explanation as to how this was all happening.  
  
"This is the song that never ends!" the trumpets blared.  
  
"It goes on and on my friend!  
  
"Some people started singing it,  
  
"Not knowing what it was." The lights were now playing all over them, and the music was hitting the point where you know the song's about to end.  
  
"But then they kept on singing it forever just because… because, becaussssssse!  
  
"This is the songs that never endssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!" they finally finished, bowing.  
  
Bulma sat up in head, sweat pouring down her face. It was a dream! Only a dream! She pushed her hair out of her face, and looked over at Vegeta. *Didn't even bother to reappear in my dream,* she thought, going back to sleep.  
  
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Interesting, interesting… I thought this up when I was finishing the last act. As usual, suggestions and reviews are more that welcome! 


	10. Bulma's Tune

ACT 9: BULMA'S TUNE  
  
DISCLAIMER: Due to the lack of updates, this must mean that I'm busy, right? Well, I've recently bought DBZ, so I've been rather busy lately.  
  
Dinah: (Feleda's cat) *jumps on Feleda*  
  
Feleda: Huh? What? *wakes up* I had the greatest dream that I owned DBZ, and fans everywhere loved me!  
  
Dinah: Mwror! *starts kneading Feleda*  
  
Feleda: What's that you say? Oh right, the disclaimer. I don't own DBZ or the song "Set me Free!"  
  
Feleda: Looking over the last act, I noticed that I had forgotten two chibis: Chi-Chi and Dende. Whoops. Oh well, I don't think Bulma would've been able to handle anymore. OK, this act takes a somewhat "serious" twist. But, honestly, I think it's safe to say that any DBZ character caught singing these songs is very silly (see Act 1 for proof.) Thank you everyone for the reviews!  
  
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Sometime during the three years before the Androids…  
  
Bulma was waiting impatiently outside of Capsule Corp. for Yamcha to show up. They were *supposed* to be going to a nice Italian restaurant to give Yamcha a break from training. She checked her watch for the umpteenth time, and tapped her for impatiently. "Where the hell is he, damn it?" she said  
  
"Hey Bulma!" Yamcha called, driving up in his convertible.  
  
She smiled, and walked over. At least Yamcha called her by name, not by "Woman!" as Vegeta did. Sliding into the car she began greeting Yamcha, and then she caught a whiff of perfume. "Yamcha," she growled.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Is it just me, or do I smell perfume in this car?" she asked. Then, "And what's this?!" she shrieked, holding up a bra that she found between the seat and the door.  
  
"I have no idea," Yamcha lied. Bulma raised a dainty eyebrow. "Honest!"  
  
"Uh-huh. Listen, Yamcha; we both know this relationship isn't working. You're too much of a ladies' man, and we don't see each other much. Why don't we just call it quits? It was fun while it lasted," she said, getting out of the car.  
  
"Wait!" he grabbed her arm. "Bulma, please…"  
  
She whirled around, a look in her eyes that would send Freeza cowering, directed at Yamcha. She replied Yamcha's plea:  
  
"Set me free why don'tcha baby?" she sang.  
  
"What are you talking about?" Yamcha asked. Bulma put a hand over his mouth, and continued, while walking away.  
  
"Get out of my life, why don'tcha baby?" Yamcah was following her.  
  
"Cause you don't really love me,  
  
"You just keep me hanging on," she sang, tossing her hair over her shoulder.  
  
"You don't really need me,  
  
"But you keep me hangin on." She made a fist, and looked like she was trying to contain herself from punching Yamcha.  
  
"Why do you keep comin' round," she motioned her home with an outstretched arm.  
  
"Playin' with my heart?" she asked, turning around, hands balled into fists over her chest.  
  
"Why don't you get out of my life," she pointed in the opposite direction of Capsule Corp.  
  
"And let me make a new start," Bulma cried, flinging her arms open  
  
"Let me get over you, the way you've gotten over me- hey!"  
  
"But Bulma, I'm not over you! Please, listen to me…"  
  
"Not over me, huh? Then how do you explain this?" Bulma asked, shoving the bra (she had subconsciously held onto it) into Yamcha's face.  
  
"I can explain…"  
  
"No!  
  
"Set me free, why don'tcha babe,  
  
"Let me be why don't you baby,  
  
"Cause you don't really love me,  
  
"You just keep me hanging on." Bulma calmly sang.  
  
"Now you don't really want me," she sang, looking into his eyes. "You just keep me hanging on  
  
"You say tha' although we broke up, you still wanna be just friends,  
  
"But how can we still be friends, when seein' you only breaks my heart again?" she sang.  
  
"And there ain't nothin' I can do about it," she chanted this, more than sang it, and accented it with a snap of her fingers at the end. They had now entered Capsule Corp. Bulma hung up her shawl, set her purse down, and put on some sandals.  
  
"Wohoho…" one of Mrs. Briefs' records sang.  
  
Bulma smirked, and sang with it.  
  
"Set me free why don'tcha babe."  
  
"Wohoho…" the record accompanied.  
  
"Get out o' my life, why don'tcha babe?" she asked, herding him back to the door.  
  
"You claim you still care abou' me, but your heart and soul needs to be free." She put her hands to her heart, then fluttered them away.  
  
"And now that you've got your freedon, you still wanna hold onto me." She motioned to herself.  
  
"You don't want me for yourself,  
  
"So let me find somebody else-eh-eh." She shook her shoulders slightly, grinning slightly.  
  
"Why don't you be a man about it?" she smiled, and put her hands up, like giving a suggestion.  
  
"And set me free  
  
"Now, you don't care a thing about me, you're just using me," she now sang bitterly.  
  
"Go on, get out, get out of my life," she was pushing him out the door.  
  
"And let me sleep at night." Bulma now motioned up to the moon with her head.  
  
"Cause you don't really love me, you just keep me hangin' on!" She ended with a flourish, and slammed the door in his face.  
  
Bulma walked over to the kitchen, to fix herself dinner, and cancel the reservations. There, she found an all too familiar sight: Vegeta was pigging out- food was all over the small table. Now, though, he was staring at her. "What? Is my face blue or something?" she snapped.  
  
Vegeta shook his head, taking himself out of whatever trance he was in. "No, no." He went back to his food. *Oh my sweet Kami! A woman that can sing with style! I've searched the Galaxy for one such as this…*  
  
"Mind if I join you?" she asked.  
  
"What happened to your date with Yamcha?" he asked, playing innocent.  
  
Bulma snorted. "Oh, things didn't go the way they were planned." She grabbed a piece of fish.  
  
Vegeta, if we could see how he was inwardly reacting, would have looked like he was about to faint, and was hyperventiating. *Ah! She's eating my fish! Stay calm Vegeta, look cool. You're the man….*  
  
And so, Bulma and Vegeta had an exciting evening of eating.  
  
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And that's how one of the most beloved couples in DBZ got together. And, now we know how Trunks got his singing genes. Just to clear things up, I am a Yamcha fan. I seriously think he's an underappreciated character. So, this had nothing against him, it's just that this love triangle was the only one that really worked. Hope you liked this chapter though! Please R & R! 


	11. Dende's Ditty

ACT 10: DENDE'S DITTY  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own DBZ or "The Hunchback of Notre Dame." Please, don't sue me.  
  
Feleda: Yay! Act 10. After this, I'll have achieved all of my ideas, plus two (The Chibi's Chorus and Bulma's Tune.) Well, here goes nothin'!  
  
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Dende was on bored Earth god. Mr. Popo had taken a long needed vacation to the Caribbean Islands, and Piccolo was taking a vacation at New Planet Namek. Karin was chilling with some of his feline homies down on Earth. Dende had the look-out all to himself.  
  
Damn, he thought.  
  
He looked down on Earth, but for once there were no problems that needed his attention; Trunks and Goten were terrorizing their families as usual, but that was nothing to be too concerned about- it was only a phase. Dende wished *he* had been able to run around like a crazy person with his best friend when he was little, but nooooooo… stupid Freeza had to come and screw things up, then he was moved to Earth for a year. He could've ran around like crazy then, but Gohan was always studying, and causing mischief wasn't fun unless it was shared. After the year had gone by, he and all his other Namekian pals were moved to New Namek, where he had been busy, busy, busy with constructing houses, plowing fields, etc., etc., etc. And finally, he had moved here to be God. Well, that was pretty fun, he had to admit. It would've been funner, of course, if it hadn't been because some all-powerful overblown bug/android/thing hadn't been threatening to kill everyone; but, hey, that's life.  
  
He walked back to where the door of the Hyperbolic Time Chamber lay. (A/N: sorry, I can't remember if this is the Japanese or FUNI term for it.) Memories of Cell made him want to see where everyone had seemed to hang out in those precious few days before the Tournament.  
  
And now he was here. Bored. Safe. Safe…  
  
"Safe behind these windows and these  
  
"parapets of stone  
  
"Gazing at the people down below me  
  
"All my life I've watched them as I hide up here alone  
  
"Hungry for the histories they shown me," he softly sang. His subconscious was having him sing softly, since Piccolo was not too found of singing- something about once hearing way too many bad voices at once, and then Yamcha singing some strange song… Then, Dende remember that Piccolo wasn't here. He took it up an octave.  
  
"All my life I memorize their faces  
  
"Knowing them as they will never know me  
  
"All my life I wonder how it feels to pass a day  
  
"Not above them…" he turned around to face the edge of his lookout.  
  
"But part of them…" he quickly walked forward, then broke in a run.  
  
"And out there  
  
"Living in the sun!" he joyfully sang, spreading his arms wide.  
  
"Give me one day out there  
  
"All I ask is on  
  
"To hold forever!" He clutched his arms to his chest.  
  
"Out there  
  
"Where they all live unaware  
  
"What I'd give," he slowed down a bit.  
  
"What I'd dare…"  
  
"Just to live one day out there…" he held the note.  
  
Then, a rather silly idea went through Dende's brain. He quickly descended to where Korin lived, via the ladder, while singing:  
  
"Out there among the millers  
  
"and the weavers and their wives  
  
"Through the clouds and sky I can see them  
  
"Ev'ry day they shout and scold and go  
  
"about their lives  
  
"Heedless of the gift it is to be them." He was now singing with a rapid pace.  
  
"If I was in their skin," he swung out so now only a foot and a hand were holding onto the ladder.  
  
"I'd treasure ev'ry instant." He jumped down.  
  
"Out there  
  
"Strolling by the Seine," Dende walked an exaggerated stroll.  
  
"Taste a morning," he turned his face towards the sun.  
  
"Out there," he gestured down to Earth.  
  
"Like ordinary men  
  
"Who freely walk about there  
  
"Just one day and then  
  
"I swear  
  
"I'll be content with my share  
  
"Won't resent  
  
"Won't despair  
  
"Old an bent  
  
"I won't care  
  
"I'll have spent  
  
"One day  
  
"Out there…!" he belted out, leaning over the side, an arm spread out to the sky. Mind, Dende had never done this before, so as far as dramatics go, he was doing pretty damn well. Then Yajirobe showed up.  
  
"Uh, dude, what *are* you doing?"  
  
Dende looked over his shoulder, mouth open as though singing the last note. "Er… a… I was uh…" he stuttered, forgetting he was God and could do whatever he damn well pleased.  
  
"Never mind, I don't want to know," said Yajirobe walking off. Dende fell over anime style.  
  
Flying back up to the lookout, he quietly reprimanded himself for letting his guard down.  
  
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Voila! Done with all my plans! *Does a jig.* Ahem. Don't worry though, ideas are more that welcome. To see more about my fabulous future plans, go to the next "chapter." 


	12. Another Author's Note!

AUTHOR'S NOTE/NEXT ACTS  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't know if I need a disclaimer for this, but I don't own DBZ or any of the songs mentioned below.  
  
This is just so I don't have ideas repeated. Give an opinion on what you'd like to see soon, and I'll try to write that Act first. Without further adu…  
  
- "You Can't Get a Man With A Gun" from "Annie Get Your Gun": This'll be set sometime in the Dragonball timeline. Lunch and Bulma tell us how hard it is to get a good man.  
  
"Tonight- Quintet and Chorus" from "West Side Story." The Z gang anxiously anticipate the Saiy-jins arrival. Starring:  
  
Maria: Chi-Chi  
  
Tony: Gokuu  
  
Anita: Bulma  
  
Sharks: Vegeta and Nappa  
  
Jets: Piccolo, Gohan, Tien, Yamcha, Krillin  
  
And finally, I'm sure you all will be thrilled to hear I'm doing this:  
  
-"Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Freeza tells Gokuu, Gohan, Vegeta, Piccolo, and Krillin all about himself. With help from the Ginyu Force.  
  
That's it as far as I know. Send me ideas! 


	13. Freeza Explains

ACT 11: FREEZA EXPLAINS  
  
DISCLAIMER: *Holds up a sign via Ranma's dad when he's a panda. It reads "I do not own DBZ or The Rocky Horror Picture Show!"*  
  
Feleda: Sorry I wasn't able to upload for a long-ass time. I was in Spain from June 27 to July 18. I actually had this written before then, and I thought I had successfully uploaded it, but I guess not. *shrugs* Anyways, just saying that I didn't forget about things.  
  
Also, thank you all for your suggestions and praise. They really do help.  
  
I'd also like to take the time to say something about frying pans: as we all know, Chi-Chi uses the dreaded Frying Pan of Doom. Well, she wasn't the first. Frying Pan as a weapon history dates back to the first Indiana Jones movie, Raiders of the Lost Ark. When Miriam is being chased, she grabs a frying pan, runs into a building, and we hear a loud BAM! as it's brought down onto a guy's head, knocking him out cold. Well, enough of my talking. Bring on the music! ************************************************************************ Freeza stood atop a rock, cackling down on Gokuu, Piccolo, Krillin, Vegeta, Bulma, and Gohan. Zarbon and Dodoria stood behind him smirking, as well as the rest of the Ginyu Special Force. "At last, me meet again; in the Afterlife!"  
  
Hah! Got you all there. The Z gang's died of old age, and now meet up with Freeza in the afterworld. Since they had all done many important things whilst they were alive, they had been allowed to keep their bodies- when they were in their prime! This, of course, had made Bulma ecstatic. (A/N: just work with me here. I'm bolding going where no author has gone before. Not really but.)  
  
Anyways.  
  
"And your point, you gay lizard?" asked Gokuu. "We're all dead, you can't really do anything; blast us if you want, it won't hurt a bit."  
  
Freeza gasped. "H-how did you know?" he asked, apparently much shocked.  
  
"Listen, I've been dead before, I think I know-"  
  
"No, not that, you stupid monkey!" Freeza snapped. Vegeta, Gohan, and Gokuu all looked very offended.  
  
"Then what?" Vegeta snarled.  
  
"That I'm a transvestite. Hell, my entire crew practically is!" Freeza answered. Zarbon and the Ginyu Special Force blushed.  
  
"Sir."  
  
"It's nothing to be ashamed of, boys. After all, look at me," Freeza told them. Suddenly, jazzy music started up from somewhere nearby. Hell's like that; you can never predict when music's going to start playing and the urge to sing and dance overtakes you.  
  
"Why, I'm just a sweet transvestite  
  
"From Tran Sexual, Transylvania," Freeza sang. The Z gang gawked openly.  
  
"Why don't I show you around," Freeza continued.  
  
"I've already been here, thanks," Gokuu replied.  
  
"But you haven't seen everything yet  
  
"Maybe I'll play you all a sound  
  
"You look like you're all pretty groovy."  
  
"Er."  
  
Not skipping a beat, Freeza sang: "Or if you want something visual,  
  
"That's not too abysmal  
  
"We could take in an old karate movie," he suggested.  
  
Making an excuse to try and get away, Bulma said: "I'm so glad we caught you at home,  
  
"Could we use your phone?  
  
"We're all in a bit of a hurry," she told them.  
  
"Right," Gohan, Gokuu, Vegeta, Krillin, and Piccolo agreed.  
  
"We need to call up our kids  
  
"See, they're all on earth, that is," Krillin supplied.  
  
Not willing to let our poor, suffering heroes go yet, Freeza told them:  
  
"Well, you wanna call up your spawn?  
  
"How bout sometime around dawn  
  
"Babies, don't you panic," he sang.  
  
"Who's he calling a baby?" growled Gohan to Gokuu.  
  
Unhindered by Gohan, Freeza carried on: "By the light of the night  
  
"It'll all seem all right,  
  
"I'll get you a satanic mechanic."  
  
"What the hell? We don't need a mechanic; we have her!" yelled Krillin, pointing at Bulma, a vein popping out of his forehead.  
  
Freeza either heard and ignored Krillin, or didn't hear him at all; he just carried on singing.  
  
"I'm just a sweet transvestite  
  
"From Tran Sexual, Transylvania  
  
"Why don't you stay for the night?" he suggested.  
  
"Night!" Zarbon, Dodoria and the Ginyu Special Force hissed. Seeing the looks on everyone's' faces, he then tried:  
  
"Or maybe a bite?" Gokuu, Vegeta, and Gohan visibly perked up.  
  
"Bite!" Zarbon, Dodoria and the Ginyu Special Force hissed again.  
  
"I could show you my favorite obsession," he told them.  
  
"I've been making a man," he sang; our unfortunate heroes looked at each other nervously.  
  
"With blonde hair and a tan," Freeza further explained; our heroes started backing away.  
  
"And he's good for relieving my tension  
  
"I'm just a sweet transvestite  
  
"From Tran Sexual," he drew out the "s" in "sexual." "Transylvania  
  
"Hit it! Hit it!" Freeza snapped his fingers.  
  
"I'm just a sweet transvestite," he attempted to do the pelvic thrust from "Time Warp."  
  
"Sweet Transvestite!" Zarbon and the rest sang in the background.  
  
"From Tran Sexual, Transylvania  
  
"So come up to the lab  
  
"And see what's on the slab  
  
"I see you shiver with antici-" Freeza smirked.  
  
"Say it!" Everyone (Gokuu, Gohan, Vegeta, Bulma, Krillin, Zarbon, Dodoria, and the Ginyu Force) yelled.  
  
"Pation!" Freeza spat out.  
  
"But maybe the rain is really to blame!"  
  
"What rain?" Krillin whispered to Gokuu.  
  
"So I'll remove the cause  
  
"But not the symptom," he finished.  
  
"Um."  
  
"Er."  
  
"Uh."  
  
"." Was the general noise our intrepid heroes were making. It was then that Cell decided to show up.  
  
"Freeza! What the hell were you doing? Were you singing that song again?" he demanded.  
  
"Yes."  
  
Whilst the villains were bickering, our heroes made their daring escape.  
  
"Oh my Dende, I don't *ever* want to see or hear that again!" Bulma gasped.  
  
"I think I'm scared for life!" Gokuu whined.  
  
"You're dead, idiot!" Vegeta snapped.  
  
  
  
"You mean I'm stuck with the image of Freeza doing the pelvic thrust and singing for the rest of eternity?" Gokuu asked.  
  
"Unfortunately, yes; we all are," Piccolo replied.  
  
Gokuu's eyes filled with tears. "It- it can't be! Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he screamed.  
  
************************************************************************ Poor, poor Gokuu. Sucks to be him or any of the others. Oh well! Hope you all enjoyed it, and won't be too scared for life. Thanks for all the suggestions! You guys are my heroes. 


	14. Movie Themes

CHAPTER #5: MOVIE THEMES  
  
DISCLAIMER: I own mangas 2, 3, 5, 6, 7, and 8 of it, and 3, 6, and 7 of DB, Bardock: Father of Gokuu, and a DBZ gift bag. Other that that, I don't own it. Surprised?  
  
Feleda: *ducks the rotten fruit and ki blasts from people* Ssssssssssoooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Times a million! I just totally felt dead, and at times considered deleting this story! But, I stuck with it, and now I have a couple of chapters for you all! So be happy, damn it!  
  
Cell: How could you forget about us? *sniff* I thought I was one of your favorite characters!  
  
Ginyu: Now look what you did! You made the big green man cry!  
  
Feleda: Which one, Cell or Piccolo? *snickers*  
  
Zarbon: Stop avoiding the subject!  
  
Feleda: All right, all right. On with the games!  
  
Villains: Yay!  
  
************************************************************************  
  
"Our next game is 'Movie Themes', and this is going to be for Ginyu and General Blue, so get your asses down here," Freeza ordered.  
  
Ginyu rolled his eyes, but he and Blue obliged.  
  
"All right, this is how the game works: I'm gonna give you two an activity that you're working on, and you'll start out doing it 'normally', so to speak," Freeza explained. "Then, when I buzz the buzzer like so:"  
  
"Buzz!"  
  
"And yell out a genre, you start acting like you're in that type of a movie. Get it?"  
  
"Got it."  
  
"Good. Audience," he turned around, "suggestions?"  
  
"Indiana Jones!"  
  
"Soap opera!"  
  
"A nature film!" yelled Shao.  
  
"Shut up!" boomed Nappa, bonking the unfortunate fox over the head and knocking him senseless.  
  
"Romance!"  
  
"Disney!"  
  
"Star Wars!"  
  
"Mystery!"  
  
"Info-mercial!"  
  
"OK, that's enough, thanks," Freeza yelled, putting a hand up.  
  
"SailorMoon!" yelled Burter.  
  
"I said that's enough, thanks," Freeza calmly said, aiming over his shoulder, and firing a ki blast at him. "But thanks for the idea anyway. So, you two are working on painting a bridge; Ginyu is the master, and Blue is the apprentice. Go."  
  
"You know, bridge painting isn't the easiest thing in the world," Ginyu said, pantomiming painting.  
  
"I know, but I'm ready for the challenge," Blue said. "After all, you are the greatest bridge builder under the sun."  
  
*Buzz!*  
  
"Indiana Jones!"  
  
"Ah! The bridge! I feel it collapsing!" Blue said.  
  
"Don't worry!" Ginyu said. "Grab my hand, and I'll get us out of here!" he called, then made a whip cracking noise, and "saved them both, just as Freeza buzzed for a new scene.  
  
"Soap opera! And just to make it even better, Spanish!" he called. Blue shot him a death glare.  
  
"Que hora es?" asked Ginyu to Blue.  
  
"No se. Tal vez cinco."  
  
"Tengo ganas de pintar. Y tu?" Ginyu said, grabbing his shoulders.  
  
"No. Tengo ganas de bailar con tu tia." Blue said, looking away, shamefaced.  
  
"Por que?" Ginyu asked, drawing away, shocked. "Me gusta bailar contigo! No te gusta bailar con mi tia! Conmigo!" he roared. *Buzz!*  
  
"That was getting too weird for me," Freeza said. "Let's get back to the bridge, and ditch the dancing- for now at least. Info-mercial!"  
  
"Blue?" Ginyu said, plastering a "charming" smile on his face.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Do you know what you need to paint even better then you are now?" Ginyu asked.  
  
"No! Tell me!"  
  
"You need the brand-spanking-new-hardcore-bridge-painter's-brush-2003!" he rattled off.  
  
Blue clapped his hands to his face "Home Alone" style. "Oh my! Tell me more about it!"  
  
"I'd love to. You see, my apprentice, with this brush, you can paint three times faster, so you can get home even faster to your treasured loved ones! Yes, that's right. And it's only starting at the low price of 5 easy payments of $299.99!" he advertised.  
  
"Wow! What an awesome deal!"  
  
*Buzz! Buzz! Buzz!*  
  
The audience was laughing most profoundly at the two's antics. "Well, enough of that game. Ginyu's ugly mug smiling like that was getting a little too much for me," Freeza said.  
  
"Perhaps I can help by smiling?" Zarbon offered, devilishly doing so, and sending some young girls swooning.  
  
"Perhaps later my lov- er, loyal friend," Freeza said.  
  
The contestants snickered.  
  
Freeza cleared his throat. "Moving on, our next game is."  
  
************************************************************************  
  
What will the next game be? Will I ever finish this story? Well, at least I uploaded two chapters at once, right? Right. Hope you enjoyed that one. I just watched the "Whose Line is it Anyway?" Marathon on Fox Family yesterday. Ah, that was great. But, moving on, let's see what the gang is up to next, shall we? 


End file.
